“It’s nothing for you to worry about.” He looked at the floor while her face rested on his back. “We’re supposed to be doing our own thing. Remember?”

Slowly her face parted from his back and she clinched the back of his shirt with both hands. “What did you say?”

“We’re supposed to be doing our own thing. Right? Isn’t that what you told me when you left?”

She let go of his shirt and walked around to the front of him. Her eyes widen as she stared at him. Then she tried to slap him but he caught her hand just before it hit his cheek. He kissed the palm of her hand and placed it over his heart. Her eyes soften as she felt the rapid thumping from his chest.

“Sometimes I hate you so much,” she said. Her eyes looked at her hand on his chest then into his eyes. “Then you do something so sweet and I fall in love with you all over again.” She kept her hand on his heart as her head rested on his shoulder. “Please talk to me. Please tell me what’s going on.”

He kissed the top of her head and rubbed her shoulder. “I don’t want you to worry. I just need to get away from here.”

“But where are you going?”

“I don’t know. Wherever the wind takes me.”

“You’re coming back, right?” She looked up at him. He gently pushed her head back down to his shoulder. “You’re coming back, aren’t you?” she repeated.

“I don’t know that either.”

She broke away from him. “You can’t leave me.”

“I remember saying that same thing to you.”

“Don’t do that. Don’t throw that back at me.”

He stared at her for a moment. “Listen. It doesn’t matter.” He looked around the room. “I hope you are able to make a lot of money selling everything. I’ll call the rental department and explain everything then contact you about dropping off the keys.”

“So you won’t tell me why you’re doing this or where you’re going?”

“No.”

“Will you keep in touch with me to let me know you’re okay?”

“I will send you a postcard from time to time,” he said with a smile.

“This isn’t funny. You know how much I worry about you?”

“I worry about you too, but we’re both adults. And sometimes we do things people don’t like but it’s still our life to live.” He watched her pace back and forth.

“Stop worrying. I’ll be okay.” She stopped pacing and turned to face him with her hands on her hips. “You call me over here and tell me to sell your stuff. And that you are leaving. And won’t tell me where you’re going. And you expect me not to worry. What do you expect me to do? How do you expect me to feel?”

“I don’t know. I know that I have to make some changes and this is the first step. I don’t expect you to understand or agree with me.” He paused for a moment and lovingly looked at her. Images of times they shared ran through his mind like an old movie reel. He took a deep breath and sighed as he turned away. “You did what you had to do for you. And now I’m doing what I have to do for me.”

“So you are doing this because of me?”

“No, not exactly. Since I met you, things in my life started to change. Some for good. Some for bad. Through it all, my love for you gradually increased to the point that there were days I could not imagine what it would be like not to be with you. Then things between us changed and you wanted your space to find you. As much as it hurt to hear you say that, I understood and accepted it because everyone has to figure out who they are. But then we grew farther apart and you changed so much.”

He turned around and she was sitting on the floor crying. His first reaction was to run over and hug her and tell her he was sorry and that he did not mean any of the stuff he was saying. But he could not move. He did not want to move. He wanted to follow through with what he started. That was one of her pet peeves about him. He gave up too easily. So he turned around and finished his speech.

“I couldn’t handle it. It hurt too much. So I tried different things to focus my mind on but nothing worked. I woke up the other morning and decided a change of scenery is what I needed. So I’m going to search for a place to start a new life.”

When he turned around, she was still sitting on the floor crying. Her hands covered her face as her head tilted towards her lap. He walked towards the door to his apartment, picked up his car keys from the bookshelf and two large duffle bags. He opened the door and looked at her again.

“I will always love you.”

“I will always love you.” The last words he said to her. It played over and over in his mind along with the image of her sitting there crying. But he could not be weak. He could not give in. He had to make a change in his life. If it hurt a few people, too bad. They’ll get over it. Some people were probably happy he left. They were the people he needed to get away from the most.

TO BE CONTINUED...